: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
