Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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