Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
