Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Randomize
