how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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