I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
