u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
It's just like the Real World with babies
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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