yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
