Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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