dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
