I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
it was like eating out sand paper
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
