Sponge bath it is.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
