The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
