Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
