Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
