Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
