Little spoons don't ask big questions
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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