How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize