I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
