i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize