Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
