i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
