Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
