So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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