RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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