and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I look excited, but its just a facade.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
