stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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