I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Drunk walkin through police station. America
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
