Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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