i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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