What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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