her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize