remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Randomize