The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
