Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
