I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
