umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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