I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
you didnt know i had herpes?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
