oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
