Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
