So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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