I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
