4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
We're like a lot better than the average bears
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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