got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
