the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
