so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize