If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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