Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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