Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
