HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
