Don't make out with my wife yet
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
you will always have a special place in my vag
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
