I cockslap morals
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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