at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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