i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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