I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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