He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
