I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
