We won't sleep together?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
did you just send me my own nude
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
