Banned from zoo.
Again?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
