I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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