I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
