You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
